I don’t like being here anymore
I try so hard not to think about you
But you still seem to make your way into my mind
This weather has me filled with an awful nostalgia
I feel like I can’t take it anymore
This place isn’t a safe haven for me
Its filled with sad memories
Broken promises
And things I can never take back
Or fix
I don’t know what to do anymore
Ive never felt so lost
Everything seems so different without you
Even after years
Being around you and having your arms wrapped around me
Make me feel like I’m at home
I know you don’t feel the same way about me
But sometimes I wish
That you felt the nostalgia I do
And that you think of me like I think of you
I cant help but feel trapped in my own sadness
Part of me feels like if I dont leave
Ill never truly learn
How to live
Or love
Without you
By Midnightmockingjay

I remember a time
When my name rolled off your tongue
With joy
And hope for a future with us
I remember the first time you kissed me
It was like magic
You picked me up like I was weightless
I remember when you first held my hand
In that old truck of yours
That you crashed while we were still in love
I remember wishing I could run away with you
And now that I’m at the age that I could
You hardly even think of me
I remember driving down the road with the windows down
I had never felt so alive
Your arms still feel like home to me
Although you never want to hold me
Like you did that summer
I remember all the long walks
And thinking it would never end
You were my first love
And now fall nights fill me with nostalgia
Because you’re not here
I remember dancing on the beach
To no music
And writing our names in the sand
With the words that said forever
But forever wasn’t as long as I had imagined
And now you speak to me
In a language that feels so unnatural
And I know I’m no longer the girl you dream about
Im not then one who lays resting in your mind on chilly nights
At 3am when your body wont let you sleep
You never message me first anymore
If we talk its because I wanted to
You don’t show up out of the blue
The last time I saw you
You saw my tattoo
I got in regards to you
And you kissed me
And left
Ill never know what runs through that mind of yours when you’re near me
When I’m missing you
I wonder
If you’re secretly missing me too
But then I remember you telling me about your dream girl
And how I wasn’t her
By Midnightmockingjay

I feel like a girl most when I’m cutting my own hair
over the bathroom sink and leave the pieces
for my mother to clean up. He calls and tells me
of a dream he had where we moved in together
and all I wanted to do was leave. I’m texting
in all-capitals and writing in lowercase cursive
and I don’t know when this began to matter,
but it does. When he wears the sweater I bought
for him I cry into the sleeves because I know
he doesn’t love just anyone. Months later,
I am still keeping the light on for as long as I can
without having to explain myself. I see pretty teens
everywhere, pink-faced from laughing,
teeth glittering in their mouths. It makes my
heart sore. Remember driving around in your car
with the windows rolled down and the wind
in our faces going who knows where? The sun
so bright the streets couldn’t do anything
but shine. Happiness was your car and how
we were together in your car. Even now I am still
turning to you out of habit. Even now I always
look for you in the split second before laughing.
And I list the places I’m in love with but am unable
to visit. And I miss you. And the radio plays all
of our favorite songs. And I still can’t remember
how I was before.
Kristina Haynes, “Notes on Loneliness” (via fleurishes)

(via icanrelateto)


The saddest word
in the whole wide world
is the word almost.


He was almost in love.
She was almost good for him.
He almost stopped her.
She almost waited.
He almost lived.
They almost made it.

Tiny Stories  (via 5000letters)

(via 5000letters)


My heart and my head are both fighting battles
That both of them know they cant win

When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.
Paulo CoelhoThe Zahir (via feellng)

Personally I am very pessimistic. But when, for instance, one of my staff has a baby you can’t help but bless them for a good future. Because I can’t tell that child, ‘Oh, you shouldn’t have come into this life.’ And yet I know the world is heading in a bad direction. So with those conflicting thoughts in mind, I think about what kind of films I should be making.
Hayao Miyazaki (via teenager90s)

(via feellng)


Yesterday I was sad, today I am happy! Yesterday I had a problem, today I still have the same problem! But today I changed the way I look at it!
C. JoyBell C. (via observando)

When I pour my heart out to you
And tell you every bit of feeling that rushes through me when I’m near you
How my fingertips feel like fireworks
When they trace along your skin
And kissing you gives me this feeling
Of completeness
That no one has made me feel in a long time
That you make me want to dance in the rain
Being near you is like lightning bolds attraction to a metal rod
You make my heart melt
Like lava before it turns to stone
Not being near you leaves me
Not knowing what to do
But if I tell you this
And you turn me away
I will stand tall
Smile
Tell you its okay
Just know the moment you walk away from me
My heart will break
That smile will fade
And tears will come running down my face
But I will confront you
Everyday
Like nothing was said
Nothing was even thought like that
And you’ll never know how sad I am over you
Because making you think I am unfazed
Means more then you seeing me weak
I don’t want to get you to be mine
Out of potty
I want to get you to be mine
By lightning a fire inside of you
That hadn’t been touch
Because you light the part of me
I thought would remain damp
By Midnightmockingjay